Pain, it reminds us we are alive

Yesterday I pulled a double, which for me is more like a triple. I work two jobs. I do home health care, in which I am self contracted, and then I work for a retirement home. At the retirement home I work third shift, from 10 p.m-6 a.m. I love my job, and love the people I work with. I especially love the Alzheimer's unit. They can be so sweet, and even when they re a hand full, I still can't be mad at them. I know it is simply the disease and they are just as frustrated as I am. I have come to know many of the residents on a more personal level. They have met my daughter, and when I have down time I will sit and visit with them. I know they get lonely. It is sad to see that many of their families don't come visit with them.

   I am coming to the realization that I will not be able to work this job for very much longer. I have a bad knee, my left one. I have had trouble with it since I was very young. A few years ago I re injured it playing a game of baseball with other coaches. I was the assistant coach for my daughters t-ball team. Since then my knee has been very touch and go, and will give me trouble just from being on it to long. It doesn't even need to be hit or bumped. Yesterday I pulled a double at the assisted living home. By the tie I got home to sleep, I had been on my feet and working for twenty three hours. I then slept for six hours, and went back to work for eight. Today i am in so much pain that I can hardly move. I actually sat down and cried for a moment. I realized that every day after work, my knee hurts to a degree. Sometimes it is just pressure. That day, I over did it. It is a common thing to pull a double from time to time, but I can't seem to do it. I am being forced to recognise my foundries and abide by them.

   With this new recognising, I have come to a conclusion that is hard for me to admit, but I know it will be for the best for myself and the future I am working so hard for. i am going to make a doctors appointment to find out what is wrong with my knee. I will then also start trying to find a job that will be less strain on my body. I am thinking of passably applying at a few of the local schools. I hate to leave the assisted living, but I simply can not take the pain any more. It is time for me to stop causing more damage to myself and except my boundaries.

Forever,
JD