As I Sit Here

As I sit here at my desk, at the nurses station, I begin to recognise little things about my residents that make them so unique. My mind should not wander so much, as i am trying to utilize my time to do school work, but it seems I have little control over it considering I deal with them all night. Ron was a strong man in his youth. Still young in his 60's, he is physically challenged due to numerous strokes. So to get his way he uses sympathy. He uses sympathy to get attention also. So rather than play his sympathetic, wow es me games, I enjoy an intellectual challenge. Stimulating his mind keeps him from talking baby talk to me, and makes him think of new ways to sound as smart as what he believes he once was. This makes him a happy man. Like all men, he loves to be asked advise. Martin is a very lonely man. He visits his wife in the nursing home and loves her just as much now as when they first got married. i will cry the day that she passes, I will shed tears for this man and his loss. His dreams are very real to him. Rather than looking for sympathy to get attention, he will just talk to you. I imagine him as a striking man in his youth, a lot of fun to be around, very genuine family man. His wife is a lucky women. Wanda is giving up. Her husband says she was never much of a fighter, he believes that is why she is acting the way she is. Rather than being proactive about the new occurrences her body is having, she simply just begs of more help. Doc is a sweet old sole who hates to be spoken to as if he were a child. He drinks in excess, but always offers a smile and advise. he loves children. He was a family practitioner in his younger days. Turns out one of our other residents know him, she was once his nurse! You can only imagine the storied that were spun from the other care givers and residents once this was made public. Esther is my fightsy fighter. She is one of our oldest residents, well into her 90's, but more independent than those younger than her. She is very stuck in her ways, and still loves to talk about men. She told me a story once of when she was younger. She went to a party and was giving away free camels cigarette's. She says she was about eleven at that time. She is a beautiful women. Her husbands were lucky to have her.
   I wonder how I will be when I get older. Will i be like Mrs. Brown and be a happy go lucky, passive older women to is pleased to do as needed. Or will I be like Alli, fighting the whole way, believing things are the way i see them, through my Alzheimer's eyes.

Sincerely,
JD

A work in progress

   As many know, i love to knit and crochet. I love to play with my yarn. I consider myself really good with crochet. Knitting, i am still learning. So to promote my learning I decided to take on a project that would help me learn to recognise stitches and to become more familiar with more than just the knit stitch. So to do this I am working on a pattern for a skinny scarf/ head band. It is a simple and beautiful pattern. It is not my own, but it is beautiful. You can click on the following link to see the original pattern. http://www.darngoodyarn.com/2009/06/recycled-crafting-easy-quick-scarf/  I am using a different yarn. I have some yarn laying around that I bought because it was on sale. I am using 100% cotton.

This is what i have done on this so far. I still have a bit to go before it is done, I a not even half way there yet. I enjoy working on this in my spare time. I also have two baby blankets going that I hope to have finished by the holidays.Once I finish this, I will post a pic of it being modeled. It will be beautiful. It is an accessory that can be worn anywhere any time, any season. I even love the colors. This is my first knit project that is not a wash cloth. Although I love washcloths, they are so pretty, It is about time I learned some new stitches. Especially if I a ever going to make that jacket I want. :)

Sincerely,
JD

The Results Are In!

 Hello my dear followers! I returned to the doctor this week and got the results of the MRI. Nothing is torn, thankfully. The side of my knee is sensitive due to being hit, so it will remain tender. however, that alone does not explain the excruciating pain that i feel, which turns out is due to a minor problem. If you were to remove your knee cap and look behind it, you would see a layer of fat. This fat keeps swelling, putting pressure on my meniscus, and getting pinched. Who knew! I had no clue there was even fat back there to be totally honest. The doctor ordered that I take physical therapy, might need a few cortisone shots, and see how that goes. I have muscle detioration due to favoring that knee. Because of this there is no muscle to allow my knee to track correctly when i walk. We are hoping that the physical therapy will fix the tracking issue, which will hopefully fix the swelling, and I can go on about my life in a merry way and be happy. I am so happy for this. With the pain I have been in I was sure I was going to need surgery.
   On a different note, my husband is in Belize on vacation. for those that do not know, this is located in South America. He has been traveling around Belize and the surrounding area taking in the sites and was kind enough to send me pictures. It is so beautiful. Today is also his birthday. He is 36 years young and still rocken his good looks. Happy Birthday Michael.

Sincerely,
JD

In a nut shell

   Lonely- wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn defines it as....

alone(p): lacking companions or companionship; "he was alone when we met him"; "she is alone much of the time"; "the lone skier on the mountain"; "a lonely fisherman stood on a tuft of gravel"; "a lonely soul"; "a solitary traveler"

marked by dejection from being alone; "felt sad and lonely"; "the loneliest night of the week"; "lonesome when her husband is away"; "spent a lonesome hour in the bar"

  This is how I have felt lately. A sudden change in life can throw the emotions of a healthy young female off tremendously. My wanders to the past allot and suddenly I am faced with the things I miss.
   I miss my mother terribly. Sometimes my daughter will do something and I still want to call my mom and tell her. There are times when i will accomplish something, or learn something new and think,"Oh, I should show this to mom, she would love it." But then I remember, if I call her someone else will answer the phone. It has been 6 years since she has passed. So much has changed since then. People have same and gone, my daughter is in second grade, my sister has had 2 children, my father remarried a great women. Yet it feels like time has stood still. I think she would be so proud of me. I have finally gotten my life together and am headed down a chose path, that I myself am paving.
   I miss my music. I used to play the drums all the time, int the early morning hours of the day. I still beat on everything when idle, and don't even realize I am doing it!!! I constantly have a beat in my head, a song I either heard or made up. I march to the beat of my own drum, only it seems my drum has collected dust, years of dust. I want to pick up the drums again, it is like going home again.
   Some women think that by being single, they open so many new windows, when really all it does is close so many. It has given me a chance to think of where I want to go in my life, what I want, what I have to do to get there. It will be a long road, but well worth it in the end.
   Some days I wish I have a companion, a partner, someone to fall asleep next to every day. And then I remember, I am not alone. I am just to busy to hear the noise that is around me. I am silent. When I stand still I realize I am not alone. I have companionship, just not in an intimate form. I have decided I am ok with this. If I find that special some one, that will just make it all that much more special.
   Lonely? Not as much as I thought. Fulfillment in a new light better describes the situation. Thank you Lord for helping me through each day. When I fall you pick me up, when it pain seems unbearable, you show me a light.

Forever,
JD

For The Night

For tonight, I will be munching on some funyuns, sipping some coffee, and working all night. I work the 10p-6a shift at an assisted living facility. Tonight, I treated myself to a hot white chocolate mocha from starbucks. I don't do this often at al, not even monthly. Tonight however, I believe I deserve it since I have been busting my back side getting stuff done. I work two jobs and am a student. Here lately my work has been taking a toll on me, and I have been handling it like a trooper. So, tonight I treated myself and will be working extra hard on my school work. I am struggling a little with my unit 4 assignment of my anatomy and physiology class. I didn't think I would have this much trouble, but it seems I am. So I will probably get less sleep over the next day. But it wil be worth it in the end when I see that beautiful grade that I know I can earn. I love to write, so I am sure I will enjoy this. I especially love a challenge, so this is perfect.

I do hope every one else is having as good of a night as I. I know I will enjoy mine. I love my job, enjoy my classes, and the struggle only pushes me to do better. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, so I am working on not being one so much.

Today Was Beautiful

   Today has been a beautiful day, almost as beautiful as the sounds of last night. Last night I was pleased to hear silence. Silence is a sound I don't hear to often. In the middle of the night it rained. The sound of rain on a medal roof is so soothing. I believe I slept better after hearing that.
   I am on a new pain medication. The pharmacist told me it might make me drowsy, but I believe it is having the opposite effect on me. I was having trouble sleeping once I took the medicine. On a better note though, I believe it has helped take some of the swelling out of the back of my knee. So it is easier for me to sit now.
   I hope every body's day is as beautiful as mine. Not even work can get me down today.

Forever,
JD