Weeping Willow Don't Cry For Me

   Her sparkling eyes begin with her smile,
Her teeth always show so white.
Her laughter shows no hint of trial,
No one knows hows she struggles to fight.
   The cherished time you have spent with us,
Has been cherished all along.
You will live forever in my heart,
Your strength helps keep it strong.
   I love you now like I loved you then,  
Get some rest and enjoy your sleep.
Because one day i will see you again,
We'll have some catching up to do, my treat.

Heather is my cousin. She is being called home by our father. She is a beautiful, smart, and one of the strongest women that i know. My daughter has her name. Her name has been passed on twice, to my sister first and then my daughter. I pray for an easy passing, no pain and no worry. I pray for my family who is surrounding her with love and support. Gods strength is far more than our own, he can pull us through. I love you Heather Jo.

Changes Are Coming, Is It Ready For Me

The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. This is a famous country song by an artist I can't seem to think of at the moment. it is a very true statement though. So much is changing right now. My work has fired and hired all the top dogs, and is reviewing all the workers. I am looking into changing the course of my school for a different outcome, and my daughter sliced her finger open at school from being slammed in between two rocks. All of this with Christmas coming up, it is no wonder I have been stressing. I am thinking about transferring my credits and going for my LVN instead of just medical assistant. This has been on my mind heavily and i think I have about made up my mind with it. I believe I will be doing so here very soon. It just seems like the logical thing to do. i only make a dollar less an hour now than I will when finished with my medical assisting, which is a year away, and then I will still need to work two jobs to go for my nursing. So why not just go for something more related to nursing that will allow me to work one job while becoming an RN. Logical, correct?
   My daughter is getting her stitches taken out on Monday. Another child at school pushed over some rocks they were stacking and it pinched her finger, tearing the skin back from the first knuckle to the tip. She got five stitches. She is eight. This was an unforgettable adventure. She is very protective of this finger and very scared to get the stitches out. She is my big girl though, and I know she will do well.
   With Christmas coming up, i want to make home made projects for gifts. i do not however have the time required to make these gifts. I love my projects, so this is sad to me. I might only be able to give store bought gifts, and not many at that. Who knows though, I might be able to pull something off. :)

Sincerely,
JD

All Is Well In The House Of Jo

     Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It is the time to take the time and remember what we are thankful for. I am thankful for the loving family I have around me. They are wonderful and supportive, and not afraid to give me advice even if it will hurt my feelings. Now that's love right there. I am thankful for the beautiful scenery I am so blessed to look at every morning when I come home from work. I love the way the colors are changing right now. Fall is my favorite season. Warm days and cool nights. My mom would say it is the kind of weather that gets a person pregnant. I guess I don't really have to worry about that though. Ha ha! I am thankful to have such a wonderful, smart, and beautiful daughter. My daughter is eight years old. She is very tall for her age and is a full head taller than the other children in her class. She is also academically ahead. I hope that once my crazy life settles down, in about a year, I will be able to get her involved in more activities that she loves, like dance or sports. For being such a girly girl, she sure can throw a ball! I am also thankful for the Lord above who helps me make it through every day. He has truly blessed me.

     During the Thanksgiving holiday, I contracted strep. I have never had strep before and can tell you I never want it again. That knocked me on my butt., It takes allot to make me call into work. I had to call in to both jobs. It was hard to call in on my people that i take care of in home health. I have been taking care of them for about 2.5 years now and have grown very attached. They look at me like I was another one of their children, my daughter like she was a grandchild, and I love them like they were my own. Their daughter is very nice as well, we get along good. I see them 6 days a week, every evening. I missed them while I was sick, and even went back to work with them before I was fully recovered. I made sure I was no longer contagious though. I do not want to get them sick. They are 92 and 96 years old and still doing quit well. Wonderfully people.
   Well, i need to get my house work done, laundry finished, and go cuddle with my little girl. I have physical therapy in the morning and will need my strength. I hope every one has a great day!

Sincerely,
JD
  

As I Sit Here

As I sit here at my desk, at the nurses station, I begin to recognise little things about my residents that make them so unique. My mind should not wander so much, as i am trying to utilize my time to do school work, but it seems I have little control over it considering I deal with them all night. Ron was a strong man in his youth. Still young in his 60's, he is physically challenged due to numerous strokes. So to get his way he uses sympathy. He uses sympathy to get attention also. So rather than play his sympathetic, wow es me games, I enjoy an intellectual challenge. Stimulating his mind keeps him from talking baby talk to me, and makes him think of new ways to sound as smart as what he believes he once was. This makes him a happy man. Like all men, he loves to be asked advise. Martin is a very lonely man. He visits his wife in the nursing home and loves her just as much now as when they first got married. i will cry the day that she passes, I will shed tears for this man and his loss. His dreams are very real to him. Rather than looking for sympathy to get attention, he will just talk to you. I imagine him as a striking man in his youth, a lot of fun to be around, very genuine family man. His wife is a lucky women. Wanda is giving up. Her husband says she was never much of a fighter, he believes that is why she is acting the way she is. Rather than being proactive about the new occurrences her body is having, she simply just begs of more help. Doc is a sweet old sole who hates to be spoken to as if he were a child. He drinks in excess, but always offers a smile and advise. he loves children. He was a family practitioner in his younger days. Turns out one of our other residents know him, she was once his nurse! You can only imagine the storied that were spun from the other care givers and residents once this was made public. Esther is my fightsy fighter. She is one of our oldest residents, well into her 90's, but more independent than those younger than her. She is very stuck in her ways, and still loves to talk about men. She told me a story once of when she was younger. She went to a party and was giving away free camels cigarette's. She says she was about eleven at that time. She is a beautiful women. Her husbands were lucky to have her.
   I wonder how I will be when I get older. Will i be like Mrs. Brown and be a happy go lucky, passive older women to is pleased to do as needed. Or will I be like Alli, fighting the whole way, believing things are the way i see them, through my Alzheimer's eyes.

Sincerely,
JD

A work in progress

   As many know, i love to knit and crochet. I love to play with my yarn. I consider myself really good with crochet. Knitting, i am still learning. So to promote my learning I decided to take on a project that would help me learn to recognise stitches and to become more familiar with more than just the knit stitch. So to do this I am working on a pattern for a skinny scarf/ head band. It is a simple and beautiful pattern. It is not my own, but it is beautiful. You can click on the following link to see the original pattern. http://www.darngoodyarn.com/2009/06/recycled-crafting-easy-quick-scarf/  I am using a different yarn. I have some yarn laying around that I bought because it was on sale. I am using 100% cotton.

This is what i have done on this so far. I still have a bit to go before it is done, I a not even half way there yet. I enjoy working on this in my spare time. I also have two baby blankets going that I hope to have finished by the holidays.Once I finish this, I will post a pic of it being modeled. It will be beautiful. It is an accessory that can be worn anywhere any time, any season. I even love the colors. This is my first knit project that is not a wash cloth. Although I love washcloths, they are so pretty, It is about time I learned some new stitches. Especially if I a ever going to make that jacket I want. :)

Sincerely,
JD

The Results Are In!

 Hello my dear followers! I returned to the doctor this week and got the results of the MRI. Nothing is torn, thankfully. The side of my knee is sensitive due to being hit, so it will remain tender. however, that alone does not explain the excruciating pain that i feel, which turns out is due to a minor problem. If you were to remove your knee cap and look behind it, you would see a layer of fat. This fat keeps swelling, putting pressure on my meniscus, and getting pinched. Who knew! I had no clue there was even fat back there to be totally honest. The doctor ordered that I take physical therapy, might need a few cortisone shots, and see how that goes. I have muscle detioration due to favoring that knee. Because of this there is no muscle to allow my knee to track correctly when i walk. We are hoping that the physical therapy will fix the tracking issue, which will hopefully fix the swelling, and I can go on about my life in a merry way and be happy. I am so happy for this. With the pain I have been in I was sure I was going to need surgery.
   On a different note, my husband is in Belize on vacation. for those that do not know, this is located in South America. He has been traveling around Belize and the surrounding area taking in the sites and was kind enough to send me pictures. It is so beautiful. Today is also his birthday. He is 36 years young and still rocken his good looks. Happy Birthday Michael.

Sincerely,
JD

In a nut shell

   Lonely- wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn defines it as....

alone(p): lacking companions or companionship; "he was alone when we met him"; "she is alone much of the time"; "the lone skier on the mountain"; "a lonely fisherman stood on a tuft of gravel"; "a lonely soul"; "a solitary traveler"

marked by dejection from being alone; "felt sad and lonely"; "the loneliest night of the week"; "lonesome when her husband is away"; "spent a lonesome hour in the bar"

  This is how I have felt lately. A sudden change in life can throw the emotions of a healthy young female off tremendously. My wanders to the past allot and suddenly I am faced with the things I miss.
   I miss my mother terribly. Sometimes my daughter will do something and I still want to call my mom and tell her. There are times when i will accomplish something, or learn something new and think,"Oh, I should show this to mom, she would love it." But then I remember, if I call her someone else will answer the phone. It has been 6 years since she has passed. So much has changed since then. People have same and gone, my daughter is in second grade, my sister has had 2 children, my father remarried a great women. Yet it feels like time has stood still. I think she would be so proud of me. I have finally gotten my life together and am headed down a chose path, that I myself am paving.
   I miss my music. I used to play the drums all the time, int the early morning hours of the day. I still beat on everything when idle, and don't even realize I am doing it!!! I constantly have a beat in my head, a song I either heard or made up. I march to the beat of my own drum, only it seems my drum has collected dust, years of dust. I want to pick up the drums again, it is like going home again.
   Some women think that by being single, they open so many new windows, when really all it does is close so many. It has given me a chance to think of where I want to go in my life, what I want, what I have to do to get there. It will be a long road, but well worth it in the end.
   Some days I wish I have a companion, a partner, someone to fall asleep next to every day. And then I remember, I am not alone. I am just to busy to hear the noise that is around me. I am silent. When I stand still I realize I am not alone. I have companionship, just not in an intimate form. I have decided I am ok with this. If I find that special some one, that will just make it all that much more special.
   Lonely? Not as much as I thought. Fulfillment in a new light better describes the situation. Thank you Lord for helping me through each day. When I fall you pick me up, when it pain seems unbearable, you show me a light.

Forever,
JD

For The Night

For tonight, I will be munching on some funyuns, sipping some coffee, and working all night. I work the 10p-6a shift at an assisted living facility. Tonight, I treated myself to a hot white chocolate mocha from starbucks. I don't do this often at al, not even monthly. Tonight however, I believe I deserve it since I have been busting my back side getting stuff done. I work two jobs and am a student. Here lately my work has been taking a toll on me, and I have been handling it like a trooper. So, tonight I treated myself and will be working extra hard on my school work. I am struggling a little with my unit 4 assignment of my anatomy and physiology class. I didn't think I would have this much trouble, but it seems I am. So I will probably get less sleep over the next day. But it wil be worth it in the end when I see that beautiful grade that I know I can earn. I love to write, so I am sure I will enjoy this. I especially love a challenge, so this is perfect.

I do hope every one else is having as good of a night as I. I know I will enjoy mine. I love my job, enjoy my classes, and the struggle only pushes me to do better. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, so I am working on not being one so much.

Today Was Beautiful

   Today has been a beautiful day, almost as beautiful as the sounds of last night. Last night I was pleased to hear silence. Silence is a sound I don't hear to often. In the middle of the night it rained. The sound of rain on a medal roof is so soothing. I believe I slept better after hearing that.
   I am on a new pain medication. The pharmacist told me it might make me drowsy, but I believe it is having the opposite effect on me. I was having trouble sleeping once I took the medicine. On a better note though, I believe it has helped take some of the swelling out of the back of my knee. So it is easier for me to sit now.
   I hope every body's day is as beautiful as mine. Not even work can get me down today.

Forever,
JD

Giving it a Nudge

   Today I have put the ball into motion. I called the Doctor and made an appointment to get my knee checked. I called a Doctor that I got a few references from. He is a good Orthopedic surgeon. My appointment is for Monday in the morning. I am a little nervous but very anxious. It is past time that I took care of this. I have been hurting so much recently, that I just need to get it taken care of.

   I am scared that the doctor will tell me I need surgery. I would prefer not to have surgery. When I was younger I though that my scares were so cool, now as a grown women, I prefer not to have any new ones. The ones I have now have enough stories to tell. Ha ha! Not to mention I am scared to death of needles. There is a reason I have no tattoos. And finally, the pain and recovery. I would be out of work for a while and when I went back to work I would have to take it easy. With this will come my limitations and foundries which will be clearly layed out for me. I already have a good idea of my limits, and still I step over them. This time with having them layed out before me in the way they will be layed out, I will have no excuse for when I over step them. I can no longer use my age, skill, work, or simply my yearning to participate as an excuse. I will have a permanent reminder. On the other hand, I will not be in as much pain. I won't have to use my cane weekly just to walk around. I will at least appear to be my age, and might even feel it again.

   Say a prayer for me on Monday. Not only about the news that I may receive, but about the way I am able to handle it. I hope every one has a good day.

   Tomorrow I will pick up a package for my daughter, eat lunch at a new place, and enjoy the company of an old friend. What will you do with your day tomorrow?

Forever,
JD

Pain, it reminds us we are alive

Yesterday I pulled a double, which for me is more like a triple. I work two jobs. I do home health care, in which I am self contracted, and then I work for a retirement home. At the retirement home I work third shift, from 10 p.m-6 a.m. I love my job, and love the people I work with. I especially love the Alzheimer's unit. They can be so sweet, and even when they re a hand full, I still can't be mad at them. I know it is simply the disease and they are just as frustrated as I am. I have come to know many of the residents on a more personal level. They have met my daughter, and when I have down time I will sit and visit with them. I know they get lonely. It is sad to see that many of their families don't come visit with them.

   I am coming to the realization that I will not be able to work this job for very much longer. I have a bad knee, my left one. I have had trouble with it since I was very young. A few years ago I re injured it playing a game of baseball with other coaches. I was the assistant coach for my daughters t-ball team. Since then my knee has been very touch and go, and will give me trouble just from being on it to long. It doesn't even need to be hit or bumped. Yesterday I pulled a double at the assisted living home. By the tie I got home to sleep, I had been on my feet and working for twenty three hours. I then slept for six hours, and went back to work for eight. Today i am in so much pain that I can hardly move. I actually sat down and cried for a moment. I realized that every day after work, my knee hurts to a degree. Sometimes it is just pressure. That day, I over did it. It is a common thing to pull a double from time to time, but I can't seem to do it. I am being forced to recognise my foundries and abide by them.

   With this new recognising, I have come to a conclusion that is hard for me to admit, but I know it will be for the best for myself and the future I am working so hard for. i am going to make a doctors appointment to find out what is wrong with my knee. I will then also start trying to find a job that will be less strain on my body. I am thinking of passably applying at a few of the local schools. I hate to leave the assisted living, but I simply can not take the pain any more. It is time for me to stop causing more damage to myself and except my boundaries.

Forever,
JD

Welcome to a day in the life of Jo

Hello dear followers, and welcome to my blog. Over the next ten weeks I will be doing my best to keep you entertained and enlightened, all while earning a good grade. Ha ha! I look forward to the feed back I receive from the topics I write about. I also look forward to the fabulous blogs I will be following as well.

My coffee this morning was wonderful and hot with a hint of white chocolate. What do you drink in the mornings?

Forever,
JD

Blogging

This is my first time to blogg. So I am not sure what to write here. So I will tell you about some recent events.
   I recently aquired a new niece. She is so tiney. I am working on crocheting a blanket for her, and whipped out a new bon hat in an hour. She is names after me. I am a proud Auntie. My daughter loves her.
   I love to crochet and knit. I am a unique individuak. I march to the beat of my own drumm. I am hoping to make it through these 10 weeks of school and achieve everything I hope to when I am done.


Sorever,
JD